Magic do happen!

Well, it has been awhile since I had added a blog entry. There is so many things that happened this month that I cant take my mind off. One of those things happened tonight when I went to St Benedict’s (My sister parish) to attend an information night for Youth Mission Team (Australia). At first, I was in two minds whether to come and listen but I made up my mind last minute to stay on for the information night. As the night progress, I learn that to be in a Youth Mission Team you have to stick to their 3 rules. Simplicity, Chastity and obedience to authority. When they explain more i.e. the Team member must restrain themselves from dating and be single for the duration of their ministry.

I wonder I have been single for a quite long time now, why is it so hard for me to accept this. I think I may have a challenge to be single during my mission if I were to join them. I know the more closer, the more confuse I become. I think this is will be a great challenge for me to go through. Is it because I am scared that I have feelings for my fellow member and I am not able to do my job well? or I am just desperate?

Even so, I probably searching and frustrated that I cant seemed to find someone that I can relate to or have vice versa attraction that will make being in a relationship. Sometimes I dont really care what other people think or say or have. These times I just shut myself from the real world and just dwell in my own inner world just to avoid hurts or rejection that may occur. Well much bragging and complaining about my sorry state, at the moment I just offer it to God and pray that he will help with some of my own issues.

Who knows after that, I may trully find true LOVE!

Wow how hot is it tonight! Even with the new air evaporator cooler I bought 3 days ago from Harvey Norman still doesnt help with the temperature in my room. I bet outside is much cooler than in my room. I always have this thing when it gets really hot at night in my room, i would just jump out of my window and find a spot somewhere in the garden to fall asleep. Dont care about the bugs and ocassional cat or possum that passes by at least I can myself cool this hot summer night

Am i seeing things or is it just the weather? cos i am seeing lots of young adults in Melbourne Central the past few weeks. I always go to the city for lunch and dont usually see so many young people out and about considering its still the school holidays. Only reason I can think off is that probably is the final countdown till school reopens which makes them to hang around more in the city. Interesting still, I am seeing lots of more inspectors at Melbourne Central during Lunch Time. So whoever goes to Melb Central during lunch time or any time after 1 pm, please make sure you get your ticket ready. I never got questioned yet but who knows i maybe tomorow if I am planning to get my lunch from city tmr.

Okay, its getting late here now. I have an early start tommorow morning. For all the love birds out there, take care good care of yourself and your partner. For those still searching, dont give up, you will find your life partner. And to all my dear friends, old and new, I hope 2008 has been a good year for everyone. Keep out mischief and always party and enjoy life whenever you can.

Signing off!

What size? err size 10 please? Thank you. There was a long queue this afternoon when we all went to ice skating. I think about 18 of us but I wasn’t quite cos i didn’t count when I arrive at the place. Since, it was sunday, there were also a birthday celebration going on. Young children all dress up in warm clothes where some of us only brought a jacket. I was one of them. I never realise it would be dat cold in side. Imagine if it was at night outside and you walk into the ice arena.. brr that would be like freeeziing.. Today was pretty nice warm so it was just perfect day to skate.

So put on my pair of skates.. gosh it is so tight.. i think i must have put on heaps of weight during winter. I can’t even fit my feet into the skates. eventually, I did. I stood up straight away my mind went to my left knee which was operated last year due of my sport injury. I knew I have to becareful because i feel very unstable with the skate shoe. Now realizing that, I endeavour to becareful on the ice floor. hehe funny thing is because it was my first time, i never expect it to be smooth. I thought i was able to just stand on the ice.. flop! I fell.. bum wet, palm wet.. Ahh what a great start! My first ever fall on ice.

Who cares right? it was just a bit fun. so the next couple minutes i sort of skated with the help of the side walls hehe. I got to a part where I was moving alright. I was so happy. That made my day. hehe It was just 3 minutes of free flowing skate but i skated. Better stop when you are doing well! i always say hehe . So i consider to stop and watch all my friends skate.

Have you questioned whether if one of your friend or a stranger really likes you? I have to struggle with this question this past few weeks. I tried looking for bodiy language to try to pick up some vibes or some signals that they are giving. But, maybe is my lack of attention or my ignorance that I may have missed it. Maybe I shouldn’t be looking too much into the physical attraction side of the relationship. But, more into trust. I still struggle yet with this.

How do we know if they still like us? I shrugged. I don’t know.

I was asked by my friend can you trust your instincts/your gut feelings that Yes! they do like me and go for that person. Frankly, I dont really know the answer. So I told them the one answer I could give was just that we should trust ourselves and run with the course and take any chance that you have been given to get to know that person. Soon and soon enough you will have the confidence to pop the “Question”

Trying to follow my own advice, the best way for me was to think ways to create a window opportunity or an open invitation to that person I like to get to know me. The part of myself that no one knows except just me, myself and I. Like learning to compromise my own wants and enjoy their presence when those moments come by. I think laughter also play a big part in this attraction as it lighten the mood and make all those akward moments and transformed them into a cheerful and enjoyable moment to be in.

In other words, I think I have to stop taking myself too seriously and enjoy the precious moments that I spend with the person whom I attracted to.

Life is too short to be blown away by the North Wind! Just stand firm and fly your kite! Watch it soar into the sky like the Eagle!

Moving one feet and moving another to follow the beat of the music! What simple movement yet a complex principle for me to master. The first time in this week I actually went for salsa classes in the city. My friend invited me to go. I thought what a opportunity to get my repertoire in my dance moves. Not knowing, i will be like fish out of water. I rushed to the place because i just got back from work and i have to change into my jeans and long sleeve shirt. I promised my friend to be there at around 7.30 pm. But, because of the trouble of finding a parking space, I was late. I never liked to be late but what can i do because i don’t know where this place is.

So i met up with my friend at around 7.35 pm, being late I apologise. So off we went to the dancing class. First impression of the place. GROOVYY BABE!.. Nice ambience and atmosphere. Fun! I thought hmm.. this actually not too bad. I can do this hehe.. So, my friend decided to do two classes, one begnner and another advanced beginner. I’m like crap! What did i put myself into now! So what the heck! Lets do this!
Minutes later, I am learning new steps and stepping on people’s toes. Excuse me! Sorry! Hey don’t turn me too fast! hey youre not bad at al.. are u a friend of the guy over there? All this in 30 minute.. On top of that trying not to trip over. What a long ordeal! When the class finished, Im like thank good ness..

But, hang on! another class is starting.. ermm i want to but i don’t want heheh.. very unsure.. I looked across. Man these people are reallyyyy reallyyy goodd!.. I just walked back slowly.. err i better sit this out. So i sat down and watched the more advance dancers go about learning new steps and salsa routine.. My eye wander around and spotted my friend. Smiled and nod at her as she looked at my direction. She is having so much fun!

I looked on and pondered as I watched. hmm.. the guy has to lead, be confident with his steps and just enjoy the music. This few phrases ran around in my mind as the time passes. Then, came the beginner’s class. Hmm.. since i’m here now may as well I learn some basics. and off I went with my happy feet i danced my way through the night.

I came back home with tired legs but with a big happy heart pumping with salsa beat!

I ponder on how my friends are coping with their studies. I remember when i did my exams, it was a daunting time just by studying alone. Ever worried that I may not retain the knowledge and facts that I learn the night before or the hour before. Ever caution of my health because its is winter time now and cold and flu is flying around. Looking back at those memories, made me realise that having friends close by, a positive msg from my friends or a friendly call had made me motivate myself to study more in a positive light. I felt i wasn’t alone doing my exams. There are other people like my friends who are going through the same experience as i am.

Now when i am working, i feel that praying for my dear friends is the most important thing. Praying for them to show that we are one body in Christ. With our individual talents and gifts we are asked to support each other in any way we can. Never one of Christ Body will be left out. To all my friends out there, we will always have you in our prayers and in our hearts. Hugs! we will see you at the finishing line congrating you and embracing you for the efforts you put in your studies. Then, we will be together once more. enjoying God’s every loving presence and his blessings.

A gentle voice prompt me to GO FOR IT! This three words has been ringing in my mind, body and soul. I still yet to discover what is pulling me to something. Don’t know what that something is. But, i know it will be great cos i feel that the past year had lead me to one big event. I spoken to many people and everyone believe its the prompting of Holy Spirit.

So is this how is it felt to be prompted by the Spirit. It feels soft and gentle yet so inspiring. It doesn’t discourage me but encourage me. In a visual sense, it feels like there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that at the end of the tunnel, there is someone waiting for you. Could be your best friend or your own resting place. Your sanctuary

Back to that calm and inviting voice saying “Go For IT”. I believe that my journey as music coordinator has not ended at my COSDU post. I once again being called again to lead my music ministry in my church and also for praise and worship. I felt tired but very excited of what God has in store for me. I just hope that He will give me strength and heart to sing to THe LORD and lead his ministry and his cHURCH closer to HIm especially the youth. I believe that the CHurCH’s youth is the fire of every church. ONce it is light, it will burn into healing fire. Fire that cleanse and heal all broken heartedness and loneliness.

My sister is away holiday to the Great Ocean Road. What a great time I am having! I have the house all by myself for the whole week. I can do anything I want. I could even hold a party if I want. But, none of this ever come into my mind. Funny thing is that this quietness and serene feeling of a quiet house really make me feel closer to my own heart. I tend to listen to things more and appreciate the stillness to spent time with God.

The past few days, I have started my journey in discerning God in my everyday life. I started to have quiet walks to the park and choose my “bench”… which for some reason it is always empty every lunch time.. Most of the benches are always occupied but this one always empty. So now I can call that bench, my reflection bench. It is there on the bench I started my search for God. With my handy pocket size book, I always do my daily prayers and reflect on the words. Sometimes I just sit down there and listen to the wind or cars passing by or the rustling of leaves when brushed by the cool breeze.

I still haven’t yet said I have met God personally but I know I will. The most vivid experience of Him was during Bible sharing on Monday night during our praying session. I began to close my eyes and began to listen to God’s spirit as I always try to do in my stillness. As I listen, not only the sensation around me change but my vision change as well. saw andI felt the room became larger. I was no longer at my friend’s place but in some large room. What I could remember from that was I was amongst a group of people praying when all the sudden a figure appear in front of the group and sat next to them. The crowd didn’t recognise him at first but soon as he spoke and taught the crowd, the crowd began to stir and realise who this man was. My spirit deep within my heart began to stir. It is Jesus! Amazed look at their faces as they embrace him. I was too shy so I stood back from the crowd. A tear drop and my heart felt relief. He is finally here. Alive and well! At last, he walked to me. I was so afraid but I was brave enough and invite him to stay with us for awhile and he smiled and say yes I would like to listen to your prayers. I was so happy and delighted that I responded with many thanks!

All this happen as prayers were offered in our group. I never said a word about what I saw but I believe he was presence at that moment eager to listen to our sharings. I now believe when he said

“When two or three are gathered in my name, I will be there in the amidst of them”.

Another day has passed and yet I feel no less older. At the moment I am listening to Josh Groban “You’re still you”. Listening to the lyrics carefully, I just imagine how one miss their friends and knowing that they are still their friends. It brings much hope and happiness that even we are so far apart, we are still friends. We never look back at the old days during the bad moments when we did hurt each other feelings but somehow rather we remember strongly the good times when we shared jokes and laughter about the silly things we did when we were young and free. I think that is what I call ‘true friendship”. Never failing to help each other through any problems and also a place of joy and inspiration to be the best we can be because you are my friend. We all have this inside of us to be true to each other but sometimes I wonder will it last. I know every relationships needs be nourished everytime we meet. So i guess best way to keep it alive is by saying hello and asking how are u dear friend?

Especially after the camp, I felt the need to reconnect with others old and new and let them know that someone is thinking the best of them and hoping that they will achieve their dreams. Although i am a natural quiet person but i believe in actions speaks many words. So, don’t be suprised when someone comes up to u say hellow and smile sweetly at you. It could be your guardian angel saying hiee. I never experience that before but i believe this is true.
So ‘dear angels’ spread your arms and your imaginary wings so that you can brighten someone day today.

Today, I decide to do something outrageous and crazy when I am work. There was this park near my work place. It was just a small oval without any goal post shadowing the trees. I thought hey what if I go to the park after my lunch just to sit on the bench and watch the day goes by. I did not planned it. I did it straight away. Spontaneously. A spur of the moment!. After I finishing my usual toasted sandwhich for lunch with the help of our favourite toaster, I took out my key and open the door to the outside. What a beautiful day to be outside as I ponder on what work I need to do after lunch. Not knowing that, I was actually walking to the park. There were construction workers putting new lines on the road but i never took notice of them.

I was in a state of bliss.. Just feeling the cool wind breeze as it brush my hair softly and the chirping of the birds on the trees. I opened the gate entering the park and found a bench where I sat down. My mind began to drift. I wonder what will life be if everyone take a step back and just appreciate nature in its state of glory and beauty. I looked up and all i saw was the outstretching arms of the trees all reaching out as if wanting to touch the sky. I saw the leaves on the branches and the swaying of the leaves as the wind brush against its side. I return my gaze in front of me. I saw an old man with his pet dog. I wonder what the old man might have felt bringing his close friend out for a walk on this beautiful day. I can imagine if the dog could speak. He/she might have said “come and play with me… look there is so many things to discover. Look at that.. what is that” sniff sniff.. ooo wonderful smell”.. all this while the tail wagging with a happy walk around the bench.

What I saw and imagine it was enough for me to feel comfortable that I even close my eyes for a moment just searching through the quietness to find the meaning of life. Though I have yet to know that but I knew that at that moment at the bench I was at peace with myself. I left my worries of work for a moment just to appreciate this rare moments where I can sit down and not WORRY at all. My eyes remain close. My senses heighten as I see with not my eyes but with my other senses, my ears, my nose and my touch. I not only feel content but felt rejuvenated and refreshed. I touch the hard engrained bench feeling every grain of the wood, tracing each with my fingers until I felt ready to open my eyes.

I opened my eyes and decide to check the time on my phone.. ahh its 2 pm. I better get back to office. I felt sad that I have to leave that special place. But, I know I will back and I know I will be welcome once more knowing that the trees, leaves and bench will always be there for me when I decided that I need some quiet place to find peace. A place where I can close my eyes and tell myself “Thank God I am here ALIVE and bless to enjoy his handiwork and art work around me.